I hadn’t noticed that you blossomed. I saw you last week and you were still grey and bare. Now you are full of life, white and bright. Ohh that smell, your new fragrance is bringing the sweetest memories. Home, sunshine, happiness. I’m writing and looking at you, and somewhere above in the clear blue sky is the moon. The wolf fell in love with the moon and every night you can hear his cries for the one he loves but got away. It’s crazy to see it so clear in the daylight. So far but so close. There are shapes on it that make me wonder… is there something there that we don’t know?
Back to you. You look so beautiful and I’m happy to have such life close to me, but I know that soon we have to part. You’ll change again and I’ll miss you. The you from tomorrow might be different. Might be better, may not, I have to wait and see. There is not much around you, yet you make the place shine. If you were mine I would change all that. Few sun rays through the cracks, they play on my hand. They chase and stop and move in rhythm. I watch their show and praise them for their persistence. They are not quitters; they find a way to be noticed. You on the other hand, you don’t even need to try, your beauty is hard to miss. I was down, but I got back up. I like to do it on my own as it gives me more reason to love life. Where were you two days ago? Ahh that’s right, I forgot to pay you a visit. Not the only thing that I regret. Regrets are part of life though, so don’t judge me on it.
Where did 29 go? I guess I know but I need to remember more often.
Somewhere between the sunsets of summers and the rainbows after the rain.
Somewhere in the early morning sun rising from behind the mountains.
In the hugs of my existence and the love of my sisterhood.
Somewhere in the snow angels, or the snow balls and the snowman.
Between the chair and the education board.
On the pages of the first diary and many blanks filled with me.
On the bus and behind the wheel.
On the dance floor and in front of the mirror.
Between the high rise buildings and on the others side of the world on Shirok Sokak. Somewhere around the house in the green lands. Between there and here.
On the wings of a plane going back and forth.
In the broken heart healed by him just to break it again.
On the waves of the ocean and city that I fell in love with.
Between the new friendships and the old lovers.
Between the tears and smiles.
On the beat that still moves me in many directions.
From the love to learn and write.
All the way to the sky, where I look for answers.
Somewhere in my heart they all stand tall and proud like pillars of proof. 29 of them. Proof that I was here and I’m not going anywhere. Yet.
This was written on 2 April 2014, almost three months before my 30th Birthday.
After a long road to creating this website I’m finally here and I wanted to chose something very close to my heart to be the first post.